Facing Fears

The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.”

Exodus 14:14 NLT

Didn't realize it's been over a year since I've written a post. But I have gone through several journals since then. Thinking this will be my last post for this blog. 

 The picture above is of a newspaper from a hotel where I stayed when I first arrived in Oklahoma 2 years ago on August 17th. I stayed there until my apartment was ready for me to move in on August 20th. As I was checking out of the hotel, I saw the title on the front page, "Facing Fears", and immediately knew it was God speaking to me. So I grabbed a copy and headed out to my new residence. At that time, I had some understanding of what that meant for me. Or at least I thought I did. Recently, I was looking for something in my closet and found it. Today that caption has a totally different meaning than it did 2 years ago. 

Many may have wondered exactly why I came to Oklahoma. For those who really know me and my journey, they may have understood, or tried to understand. (Sometimes I don't even understand.) But also, I know what some people may have thought. Although I didn't show it, to be honest, when God first told me He was sending me here, I had fears about coming. Some fears I knew I had before I came, and some I discovered after being here. Believe it or not, I had more fears coming to Oklahoma than I did when God sent me to Abu Dhabi. I just knew God said I was only responsible for obeying His instructions and He is responsible for the outcome. 

Today I was led to look up the word "fears". The first definition given was "fear the worst" ( to be afraid).  The second was "fear God" (in reverential awe). Both define the fears I had upon my arrival here. Transparent moment....I secretly feared "the worst" that could possibly happen. While I came with no specific hopes, I feared what to hope for. I feared what to believe God for. I feared what God's outcome might be. This fear had me bond. At times it stole my joy and my peace. At times I had no words to describe what I was feeling or experiencing. I just wanted it to be done already. 

Facing my fears was something God had not really required me to do before. At least not the particular fears He was requiring of me in this season. I really had to face some things I had avoided out of fear of "the worst". Or at least what I thought was the worst. But now I know how necessary facing fears is for healing, evolving, and receiving. There were places I didn't know that still needed healing. There was a part of me that still needed to evolve. There are things God needed to prepare me to receive. While I still may not know the outcome yet, I'm no longer a slave to fear of the worst! For me fearing "the worst" is not trusting God's outcome! When I say my faith is greater than my fears, what I mean is I'm in total AWE of God!!! Even without knowing His outcome. At this point, I just choose to fear Him rather than fear the worst.

I recently heard "Until you make God the loudest voice in your ears, you will stand in defeat." My declaration today is...I choose to only fear God! My reverential awe/fear of God exceeds all those "fears of the worst" I had! Over and over, He has reminded me that I'm only responsible for being obedient to Him. That's all! 

Now I know I no longer have to fight my fears. I just have to stay calm and let God fight them for me! (Exodus14:14)

I am His, 

Faith Walker

Then and now....God's plans!

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord . “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11 NLT)

The picture above popped up as a Facebook memory on today. On this day seven years ago, I was in the library at Phoenix Seminary writing my final paper before my graduation two weeks later. In the post above the picture, I shared my reason for going to seminary...OBEDIENCE. I didn't go in pursuit of a specific title, or position. I wasn't desiring to "become" something. I just wanted to please God with my obedience. That was my only motive then, and that is still my only motive now!

Then...
On this day seven years ago, I had no idea what God's plans were for me next. I didn't know a few months later He would send me on a short mission to Turkey. I didn't know after that, He would send me on a mission back to my hometown to live with and care for my mom for a year and a half until she passed away in 2015. I had no idea the year after that, He would send me on a mission to Abu Dhabi to live on an island where I would teach Arab-Muslim students for 3 years and have an experience with Him that would prepare me for where I am today...physically and spiritually!

The only thing I did know on this day seven years ago, was that I was where I was suppose to be at that moment. I knew God sent me there to study His word. I knew God had provided my needs during my season there. I knew God would reveal to me the plans He had for me next, and I knew I would obey...no matter what.

Now...
On this day seven years later, I am in a place I once again had no idea God would send me. But when He told me He was sending me here, again I obeyed. And I do know I am where I am suppose to be at this moment. Today God reminded me (through my journal entries and a messenger) that He has seen my obedience now just as He did then. As the facebook memory above says, still all I want "to be" is OBEDIENT!

As I wait for God to reveal to me what's next, I know I must continue to be obedient with my current assignments. I know He has great plans for me! For His Glory!

I AM HIS,
FAITH WALKER

8 =New Beginnings!

God always keeps His promises!

Blessed [gratefully praised and adored] be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant and boundless mercy has caused us to be born again [that is, to be reborn from above—spiritually transformed, renewed, and set apart for His purpose] to an ever-living hope and confident assurance through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead (1 Peter 1:3 AMP)


Today (4/17/2020) marks 8 months since I transitioned to Oklahoma City! While some may have thought me moving here was a bold move, I was actually filled with fear. I didn't know the details of my assignment here, but I knew I had to be obedient to what God told me to do. And now 8 months later, God has delivered me from the fear I had upon my arrival here.

In my first journal entry after arriving in OKC, I reflected to the morning when I left my mom's home. I wrote these words...

"Before leaving, on my way out the door, I had a moment with my mom. Her picture was facing me as I walked out the door. I could hear her telling me, 'If that's what God told you to do, then do it.' (As she told me long ago when I was a little girl and I came home from church and had experienced hearing God give me instructions for the first time.) The tears fell knowing she would be my #1 supporter if she was still here. And she would be proud of me walking out my journey of faith."

Even now, my eyes are filled with tears as I think of my mom and how she always encouraged me along my journey. Just last month, God reminded me of a letter I had inside one of my old journals. It was a letter I had written to my mom 23 years ago when I lived in Dallas in 1997. She had kept it in one of her drawers with her important papers. I found it after she passed away. In the letter I was sharing some things about my life in Dallas and things I was beginning to experience in my relationship with God. In the letter I wrote these words...

"I have surrendered to Him and I am obeying Him. I couldn't be any happier. I have committed to doing His will."

Reading these words, God reminded me that I am still doing what I told my mom I was doing over 23 years ago. The only difference is she's not here with me and I can't share with her the details of my journey. But I know she is smiling down on me!

About a month ago when the world began to "shut down" outside due to the pandemic, God had me to "shut down" inside. For two days, I turned off my phone and television, deactivated Facebook and uninstalled instagram so that I could be undistracted and just hear from God. He already knew the matters of my heart, and wanted to manifest His presence to me. As He spoke loud and clear with His still small voice, I listened and received! As a sign to me, He set a rainbow in the sky (something He uses at very specific times to personally speak to me along my journey)! This was my first rainbow sighting since being in OKC (pictured above). And since that weekend, He has continued to speak and reveal specific things concerning His purpose and plans for my life.

The number 8 represents new beginnings! It symbolizes a resurrection. On last Sunday, we celebrated Resurrection of Jesus! And because He lives, all my fear is gone! I declare and decree on today, that God has resurrected me from fear and today is a new beginning of my journey in Oklahoma City! I've been transformed, renewed, and set apart for His purpose.🙏🏽 More faith walking coming soon! ❤

I am His, Faith Walker!

No fear in love!

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." 1 John 4:18a (ESV)

Once for every day of the year! 

A few days ago, February 14th, the world put their love on display by celebrating their love for special people in their lives with gifts, chocolate, flowers and social media posts. For those who don't have "significant others", this may be a day they feel lonely or forgotten. Some may feel unloved. Some may fear never being loved. But these are all false arguments about God's love! God's word tells us, there is no fear in love!

Yesterday (February 17th) marked 7 months since I transitioned back to the U.S. from Abu Dhabi, and 6 months since I transitioned to Oklahoma City. In my previous blog post (after being here 2 months), I stated that the process of my transition had really tested my faith. Little did I know how much more my faith would be tested and stretched in the months that followed.

In a conversation I had with my sister about how I was doing in my transition, I shared with her that moving back to the states was more challenging for me than moving half way around the world to Abu Dhabi. She was surprised to hear this. Her immediate reply was "Really? It seems like moving back home would be easy." Nope! Not at all for me! While most were happy for me to be back in the states and closer to home, what many didn't know was the fights I had to have with fear on a daily basis! While I had fear of the unknown upon moving to Abu Dhabi, it was nothing like the fears I had moving back to the U.S. More specifically, moving to Oklahoma!

When God told me He was sending me to Oklahoma City to "serve", I was not sure exactly what that would look like. He didn't give me the details (as He often does not). He just told me "You are only responsible for obeying my instructions. I am responsible for the outcome." So I took Him at His word and came in obedience to Him. However, it wasn't as easy as it may sound. While, obeying God is something I delight in doing, this assignment seemed to be the most challenging thing God has ever asked of me thus far in my walking by faith journey. There are more specific reasons I felt this way, but primarily it was because of some fears from my past. Some fears I had disguised with my faith, but God wanted to set me totally free.

In one of my first journal entries after returning to the states and moving to OKC, I wrote the following private and transparent thought after receiving a word from God through a message I heard.

**Journal entry excerpt from 10/28/2019**
"While I don't doubt God sending me to OKC, I struggle with the doubt of receiving the harvest God has promised me. Pastor (Mike) said these bad seeds show up when you are about to reap a harvest. They have definitely shown up and try to consume my thoughts daily. God reminded me in Pastor's message on yesterday that I have to antedote those doubts with the Word of God!"

The Word of God is what I have had to tightly cling to (like never before)! Over the past 6 months, God constantly told me, "Do not fear!" Each time He told me I felt Him stretching my faith! Each time He told me, His voice began to drown out any doubt! Each time He told me, my faith became greater than the fears! And seven months later, I can honestly say God has removed the fears I had at the beginning of my transition. Time and time again, He has assured me that He is responsible for the outcome of my obedience to Him. I still don't exactly know what His planned outcome is, but I do know I am no longer a slave to fear! I also know that I am right where I am supposed to be. Doing what I'm supposed to be doing!

In my previous post (from December 2019) I shared I was waiting for God to manifest the employment He had for my provisions here in Oklahoma City. I knew it was connected to what He already had me doing with serving Faithful Services Sober Living, a faith based program that I began serving with as soon as I got to OKC (in obedience to God). I am currently working as a Case Manager for a non-profit organization that provide services to persons with addiction recovery and mental health needs. I originally applied for the position back in November after relocating here, but God didn't open the doors for me to get the job until the latter part of January. In the meantime, He needed to stretch my faith in Him a little further, and prepare me for what was to come! (Will share details on another post.) Once again, I'm in awe of His ways and His timing!

So, as the world was putting their love on display, God was once again displaying His love for me, like He does everyday! God IS love, His love IS perfect and His love definitely casts out the false fears I had! I will never doubt God's love for me! And I WILL NOT BE AFRAID!

I am His,
Faith Walker!

A New Season

I can do all things [which He has called me to do] through Him who strengthens and empowers me [to fulfill His purpose—I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency; I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses me with inner strength and confident peace.]
PHILIPPIANS 4:13 AMP


Recently, I heard a person share that this scripture's original translation means I can do all "seasons"; which is what Paul was referring to in the preceding scriptures when he spoke about learning to be content in all the different circumstances or "seasons" of his life.


September 23, 2019 marked the beginning of the fall season in the United States. As with every season, change takes place. Many of you may not know this, but I too have experienced a change of season recently. On July 17th, my season in Abu Dhabi ended. In obedience to God, I returned to the states, and as of August 17th, I now reside in Oklahoma City (actually Moore), Oklahoma. God did not allow me to blog or make a big announcement about this change of season before leaving Abu Dhabi or before leaving Louisiana. He also didn't give me many details. He only told me I was to go "serve". I didn't know exactly what that would look like, but I knew I had to obey.


It's been a little over two months now, and I've gotten settled in to my new place. I'm learning my way around the area and adapting well to my new environment. God is also revealing the details of my assignments or His purpose for me here day by day. The process of my transition has definitely tested my faith, but God has not forsaken me. And just as Paul said in Philippians 4:13, God has and is strengthening me, so I know I can do all the things He has purposed for me to do in this season. The statement in the picture above is what I have had to remind myself of every day at this point in my journey. This picture actually hangs over my fireplace as a daily reminder!


Testimony

Before leaving Abu Dhabi, I began to search for a job in the area of employment which I believe God is leading me to serve Him. (Side note: My season as an elementary classroom teacher has ended also.) I thought I needed to have employment in Oklahoma in order to get an apartment, so I was desperately searching for a job. I had three applications submitted to one employer for the same type of position in three different departments. I thought surely I would get one of those positions. But, then God told me to withdraw ALL three applications, and that He would manifest the job He has for me. In obedience to Him, I withdrew all 3 applications before leaving Abu Dhabi. I was able to still get approved to move into my apartment without securing employment before leaving! God is so awesome! I'm currently waiting on God to manifest the job He has for me here, while also serving as He leads me to serve. I know God is faithful, and I trust He will reveal all things in His perfect timing!


Thanks again for all your love, support, and prayers while I was halfway around the world. They are still needed as I continue my journey now back in the USA!❤🤗 🙏🏽


I am His,

Faith Walker
**Previously posted** 10/26/2019

Higher

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord . For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55:8‭-‬9 KJV




The Burj Khalifa in Dubai (pictured above) is said to be the tallest structure in the world at 2,717 feet. I don't know if this is a fact or not, but what I do know for a fact is God's ways and thoughts are much HIGHER!

Recently, God reminded me of the day (back in 2002) when He first spoke these words in Isaiah 55:8-9 to me regarding the plans He had for my life. At that time, I was only focusing on my current, or present, circumstances. While I received this as a word directly from God at that moment, I did not realize He was not just referring to present, but also to my past and my future. I was convinced He had great plans for me, but had no idea of His thoughts and the ways He would manifest His plans!

Today, I have a totally different perspective of this word! I am still totally convinced God has great plans for me. However, I've learned that my "human planning" is not part of God's plans for me. I now truly realize that the greatest thoughts or plans I can think for myself cannot come close to God's thoughts and plans for my life!


My confession...
As I look at how the events of my life have unfolded since receiving this word in 2002, I have to repent to God for even thinking I knew what He was thinking or what He had planned for my life! I repent for asking Him why He allowed certain things to happen. I repent for being disappointed in things He didn't allow to happen. I repent for asking Him to do things I wanted Him to do in the past that was not in His plans for my future. I repent for allowing fear to cause me to doubt His promises. I repent for holding Him to promises that I thought He made and timelines I set myself. I repent for not trusting Him to keep the promises He did make in His own timing. Lord, please forgive me! Thank you, Lord, for your thoughts! Thank you, Lord, for your ways! I want to go HIGHER. Lord take me HIGHER!

On June 19th I celebrated my 49th birthday! As usual I celebrated another ending of a decade with some persons God has connected me with along my journey...here in Abu Dhabi of course! As I reflect over my life, this is not the way I imagined my life to be at this age. I had different plans for myself. But I am so thankful God plans were and are so much HIGHER than mine! I'm looking forward to what He has planned for my Chapter 49!

Theme: Pretty in Pink and Pearls! 

I am His,
Faith Walker

Faith over Fear...God's Plan

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

I recently read the book in the photo above by Oprah Winfrey. (The Path Made Clear: Discovering Your Life's Direction and Purpose). While I'm not an Oprah "fan", she is definitely aware of her God given purpose. In her book she states, "I am embodied by the belief that all I need is a mustard seed of faith and no matter what, I am going to be alright." Of course she is referring to the parable that Jesus shares with His disciples. I was mainly drawn to the book's title and subtitle. When we seek God, He definitely makes our path clearer! God has a plan...We only see part of it. It's all a test!

Before God made it clear to me that He was sending me to Abu Dhabi, I had no desire to teach abroad. After my mom's passing, and being out of the regular classroom for four years, I didn't think I would ever go back into the classroom. As I began seeking God for what His plans were for me, He showed me He was sending me to Abu Dhabi. I had traveled abroad before for short term mission trips, so I already had my passport and was ready to go wherever He sent me!

From the beginning of my journey here, I knew God had a greater purpose for sending me. I've always known that although teaching is my reason for being here, it is not my purpose.  And as He reveals His purpose for me, the path becomes a little clearer step by step. The things God reveals to me keeps me in awe of Him and keeps me desiring to see more clearly!

In my very first instagram post after arriving in Abu Dhabi (inserted below), I posted this pic with the caption, "My FAITH is greater than any fears!"

Confession...The person you see in that picture was still full of fear! While I know "God has not given us the spirit of fear..." (2 Timothy 1:7a), I was still fearful. Fear of the unknown! At that time, I had no idea exactly where I would be staying or how long God had planned for me to be here. Or exactly His purpose for bringing me here. I just had faith that God was with me! Although my faith was/is greater, that does not mean fear isn't always trying to creep into my thoughts. Fear's main purpose is to keep you from your life's purpose, and fear is contrary to God's plans!

God recently reminded me that walking by faith requires me facing my fears. All of them! Even when the path is not clear YET!

Fear is defined as "an unpleasant emotion caused by threat of danger, pain, or harm. In Jeremiah 29:11, God promises not to harm me, but a future filled with prosperity and hope. Even when the path is not clear, I choose to believe and trust God!

So, as I continue this journey called life, I will be walking by faith and facing fears with power, love, and a sound mind! (2 Timothy 1:7b)

I am His,
Faith Walker