"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." 1 John 4:18a (ESV)  |
| Once for every day of the year! |
A few days ago, February 14th, the world put their love on display by celebrating their love for special people in their lives with gifts, chocolate, flowers and social media posts. For those who don't have "significant others", this may be a day they feel lonely or forgotten. Some may feel unloved. Some may fear never being loved. But these are all false arguments about God's love! God's word tells us, there is no fear in love!
Yesterday (February 17th) marked 7 months since I transitioned back to the U.S. from Abu Dhabi, and 6 months since I transitioned to Oklahoma City. In my previous blog post (after being here 2 months), I stated that the process of my transition had really tested my faith. Little did I know how much more my faith would be tested and stretched in the months that followed.
In a conversation I had with my sister about how I was doing in my transition, I shared with her that moving back to the states was more challenging for me than moving half way around the world to Abu Dhabi. She was surprised to hear this. Her immediate reply was "Really? It seems like moving back home would be easy." Nope! Not at all for me! While most were happy for me to be back in the states and closer to home, what many didn't know was the fights I had to have with fear on a daily basis! While I had fear of the unknown upon moving to Abu Dhabi, it was nothing like the fears I had moving back to the U.S. More specifically, moving to Oklahoma!
When God told me He was sending me to Oklahoma City to "serve", I was not sure exactly what that would look like. He didn't give me the details (as He often does not). He just told me "You are only responsible for obeying my instructions. I am responsible for the outcome." So I took Him at His word and came in obedience to Him. However, it wasn't as easy as it may sound. While, obeying God is something I delight in doing, this assignment seemed to be the most challenging thing God has ever asked of me thus far in my walking by faith journey. There are more specific reasons I felt this way, but primarily it was because of some fears from my past. Some fears I had disguised with my faith, but God wanted to set me totally free.
In one of my first journal entries after returning to the states and moving to OKC, I wrote the following private and transparent thought after receiving a word from God through a message I heard.
**Journal entry excerpt from 10/28/2019**
"While I don't doubt God sending me to OKC, I struggle with the doubt of receiving the harvest God has promised me. Pastor (Mike) said these bad seeds show up when you are about to reap a harvest. They have definitely shown up and try to consume my thoughts daily. God reminded me in Pastor's message on yesterday that I have to antedote those doubts with the Word of God!"
The Word of God is what I have had to tightly cling to (like never before)! Over the past 6 months, God constantly told me, "Do not fear!" Each time He told me I felt Him stretching my faith! Each time He told me, His voice began to drown out any doubt! Each time He told me, my faith became greater than the fears! And seven months later, I can honestly say God has removed the fears I had at the beginning of my transition. Time and time again, He has assured me that He is responsible for the outcome of my obedience to Him. I still don't exactly know what His planned outcome is, but I do know I am no longer a slave to fear! I also know that I am right where I am supposed to be. Doing what I'm supposed to be doing!
In my previous post (from December 2019) I shared I was waiting for God to manifest the employment He had for my provisions here in Oklahoma City. I knew it was connected to what He already had me doing with serving Faithful Services Sober Living, a faith based program that I began serving with as soon as I got to OKC (in obedience to God). I am currently working as a Case Manager for a non-profit organization that provide services to persons with addiction recovery and mental health needs. I originally applied for the position back in November after relocating here, but God didn't open the doors for me to get the job until the latter part of January. In the meantime, He needed to stretch my faith in Him a little further, and prepare me for what was to come! (Will share details on another post.) Once again, I'm in awe of His ways and His timing!
So, as the world was putting their love on display, God was once again displaying His love for me, like He does everyday! God IS love, His love IS perfect and His love definitely casts out the false fears I had! I will never doubt God's love for me! And I WILL NOT BE AFRAID!
I am His,
Faith Walker!
